Growing up in an asian household as the eldest daughter is tough. The immense pressure to perform well in everything was real. Growing up, I never cut myself some slack. I managed to graduate college and I thought that everything would somehow get itself sorted from there.
I was so wrong.
Here I am, at 25, feeling like I have gotten nowhere. Working for four years in corporate, I had no savings, no house of my own, and no car. I was busting my brains out thinking how on earth did some of my batchmates accomplish most of that? Looking back on the last four years, rummaging through everything I have learned made things clear for me.
We all have different timelines.
We are born with different privileges.
There is no one way to get through life. There is no single definition of how success should look like for you. You don’t have to get things done by a certain age. You are in a completely different situation than anyone else. Therefore, always be compassionate and don’t judge.
Growing up exposed to society’s standards, I thought that my mission was to appease the people around me by accomplishing the goals that were subconsciously embedded in my head. Doing that burnt me out. I knew that I wanted to take a different path. Learning to accept my own definition of success was a huge thing for me. It meant that I had to go against the grain. I had to be comfortable with knowing that I might be judged. After years of trying to improve myself, I slowly became comfortable with that. After all, you can’t please everyone.
It’s okay if your definition of success is different. Go for what will make you fulfilled and happy.
You can start over.
You are never stuck. You can pivot. That vicious life-sucking cycle you are in doesn’t have to go on forever. Sometimes, you are so used to your comfort zone that the thought of change feels like a thousand cuts. However, it is even more scary to be stuck, stagnate and look back only to realize that you should’ve taken the leap.
Remember that you can start over. You can choose to shift your current circumstance. Even though starting over feels like going back to square one, you are not stripped off of everything. The learnings and experience you have will still help you out in navigating the new path you choose to walk on.
At 25, I feel like I am starting over. I am rediscovering myself. I am slowly leaving my comfort zone. For the last two decades, I found liberation after asking myself, “Who really am I?” “Who am I without the degree? This job?” “What is the true essence of my individuality and what I am here for?”
Knowing yourself is the best thing you can do for you.
You can choose YOU.
The loudest, clearest and most vivid voice should always be your OWN VOICE. In a world where everyone seems to have an opinion on how you should live your life, you can still choose you.
The biggest lesson I have learned so far is learning how to choose myself. It is not selfish to set boundaries and choose what’s best for you. You are in charge of your own happiness so make sure to choose the most loving option for yourself.
It takes a while to embrace this since we were always taught to put other people before us. However, if we don’t take charge of our own future, no one will step up and give us the permission to do so. We can’t keep living our lives for other people.
No matter what your state in life is right now, don’t let the voice of other people be louder than your dreams.
I hope that this blog supported you in any way.
I dived deeper into this on my podcast. You can listen to episode 16 here.
Sending love and light.